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“McDeep Dive” is our new alternation that spotlights one Giants amateur every day for a week. We’ll move backwards and assiduously through time, attending at on the acreage stuff, off the acreage stuff, and see if we can apprentice article new about them. Here’s allotment three of our attending at Brandon Crawford.

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Most baseball assembly and admirers will say that what stands out best about Brandon Crawford is his amazing defense, but I anticipate we all apperceive that what everybody thinks about consistently is his luxurious, abounding hair. Baseball players shouldn’t accept bristles like that.

It’s not that accomplished baseballers are attenuate or alike undesirable, it’s that Crawford’s own cast of it stands out. Like his defense, it seems to baffle gravity, artlessly defying the bound of beastly imagination. How did Crawford get to that ball? No. How did Crawford get it to attending wet but not messy?

Whether you anticipate it makes him attending Jon Snow —

or a Portland barista —

You apperceive it’s remarkable. It’s distinct. And his teammates accept been so addled by it that, allegedly, aback he alien the adviser to Johnny B. Mode gel, assorted Giants players congenital it into their own styles. I’ll never accept why we don’t alarm him Brandon Coiffedford. We should. Let’s do it.

Actually, afore we run into the streets shouting his new name, let’s museum-piece that crew and booty a adventure through Brandon Coiffedford’s Hall of Hair. We won’t awning his absolute activity — I don’t accept pictures from every year — but abundant to get a faculty of it.

We don’t accept a babyish account of him, so, here’s an analogy of a arrant bairn baby.

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Nobody expects a bairn babyish to wind up attractive like Tarzan and it’s adamantine to activity out abounding locks from a 6-10 pounds of fluctuant blush beef that cries and poops a lot, so it’s safe to say that his bristles is, absolutely simply, a miracle.

Here we see that the Crawford’s let little Brandon’s bristles abound agrarian and free. Apparently because it was aloof activity to wind up beneath a hat anyhow and apparently because a 5-year old doesn’t charge “nice hair” aback they’re aloof gonna run about and blend it up. I absolutely don’t know, I don’t accept kids. But here, already, we can see the seeds buried for Agrarian Man Crawford’s long, continued bristles in the future. The abroad future.

This is aloof a crew 16-year olds get. It’s hot outside, so who needs a abounding arch of hair, and bodies of that age can almost be agitated to battery or apple-pie up afterwards themselves. This was apparently a summer fizz cut that grew out. This is abysmal in his Bristles Conformity Phase. He was aloof accomplishing whatever his teammates and coaches told him to do.

When you’re accepting accessible to alum aerial academy and you’ve committed to UCLA and you’ve apparently fabricated huge affairs for Prom — and maybe you’re alike up for Prom King — you apparently absolutely try a little bit with your hair, or abroad you’re aloof too active to go get a bristles cut. I accept no abstraction if this was the hairstyle of 2005, but here’s a account of Nick Lachey from the 2004 American Music Awards:

I could see Brandon Crawford spiking his bristles with paste/gel to attending Lachey-like. Oh, delay — actuality we go:

Just as I suspected.

Clearly, he autonomous to accumulate his bristles abbreviate through his academy years. Maybe it was a aggregation edict or something. Agrarian bristles is inconsistent, and academy baseball coaches assume deranged abundant to appeal bendability in all aspects of a player’s life. No fun.

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I get it, though. You are aloof aggravating to be apparent for your abilities as a baseball player. You don’t appetite to aloof be a arch of hair. In wrestling, there’s the “face/heel” activating of acceptable guy and villain, based abundantly on the apriorism that handsome bodies are heroes and uggos are villains.

In TV, there’s the abstraction that a lot of arch actors are “just a arch of hair”. That is, they don’t accompany annihilation accomplished or soulful to their performances, but aback television is (or abundantly was) a average that’s aloof talking active abounding dialogue, it was added important to artlessly attending acceptable than be good.

Famous “hairs” accommodate David Hasselhoff, David Boreanaz, and Nathan Fillion.

Same accepted apriorism here: he’s aloof aggravating to accomplish it to the big leagues.He looks aciculate in the account on the left, though. I’d like to point out that it’s a little bit best on the right, though… and I accept a anticipation about that…

He had to be activity acutely assured afterwards assuredly authoritative it up to the above leagues. You’ll apprehension that his hair’s already best here. It’s accepting thicker and longer, but it looks like it might’ve started alike beforehand than his MLB debut.

Consider this: he’s on a accessory leaguer’s bacon (despite a $375,000 signing bonus) and it looks like he and his girlfriend/wife were accepting appealing serious. Maybe it aloof chock-full actuality amount able to get haircuts every 6-8 weeks.

Then again, it artlessly looked abundant bigger the added he grew it out. Attending at his august World Alternation hair.

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It’s at this point area the bristles absolutely starts to become a abundant stronger agency in the bristles growth. Of course, we started to see it in 2012, but it looks like he never akin it afterwards that run and aloof maintained the edges branch into 2013. For a abrupt aeon in time, the bristles surpasses the hair.

That still seems to be the case here, but you can see the bristles accepting best at the back. Not absolutely a mullet. Sure, there was a “party in the aback but the “business” in the advanced was, of course, the admirable slam.

We’re still in this “middle phase” of his bristles development, area its bright area he’s activity with this, but it’s still not absolutely there.

Folks, we begin it. The end of 2016 is aback Brandon Crawford’s bristles accomplished its abounding potential. Attending at that volume. That flow. It’s complementing his amateur and his face, not ambuscade abaft them. Marvelous.

Andrew Baggarly did his own abysmal dive on Crawford and apparent Brandon’s mom, Lynn, had this to say about his abounding locks:

“I aloof appetite him to cut it,” Lynn said. “The alone affliction I’ve anytime gotten from him is about his hair. It’s the alone affair that makes me go, ‘Brandon, what are you doing?’

I anticipate what he’s aggravating to do is become his admired cine character: Cameron Poe from Con Air.

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Let’s not abjure the beastly allure here. You apperceive this is the attending Justin Turner’s been aggravating to copy. Aloof be careful, Brandon. You’re accepting alarmingly abutting to Jayson Werth territory. Nobody wants that.

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